Invidia
by Idiotic Stupidty Person
Summary: I don't understand. To be honest, I never did. What made you so speical, and so much better than me? Orihime muses about the unjust in her life.


Hehe...I'm back again, with a crazy oneshot just to quickly vent my emotions. Just to tell you, I'm not trying to bash either character, but merely trying to speak through a prespective.

Summary: I don't understand. To be honest, I never did. What made you so speical, and so much better than me? Orihime muses about the unjust in her life.

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN IT!

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_**_**Invidia**_

I don't understand. To be honest, I never did. What made you so special, and so much better than me?

I see you, surrounded by everyone, the envy of everyone as they all talk to you, as they all come to you like swarming bees attracted to a fly. Everyone likes you, exactly the way who you are.

Slightly sarcastic, naturally stunning, and just gorgeous all around. They all love you, and you barely have to lift a finger.

But I can't.

Every time I try seeking for someone's approval (anyone!), they all just stifle me with gentle smiles, like I'm a little pet or darling. A pet that's good for nothing, and privy to none of your secrets. I hate those glances, those ones were everyone exchange before answering me, like I'm some doll that I have to protect, and how I am always the last to know anything.

I know, to contrary and shocking view, I'm not stupid.

I notice the glances, every single time. Those glances mixed with pity, sorrow, and almost mirth. That they were all directed because of you, because you secretly are the great leader, the puppet master of this whole charade even though none has designated you as leader. For some reason, they all chose to look at you, choose to believe in you, thinking that you will always lead you into a victory.

And yet, what makes you so better than me?

Your honeyed smiles? Your large eyes that have such a watery gaze to them that it automatically inspires pity in them? Your way of interacting with everyone so naturally, a causal smile here, a joke there, and a puzzled look all around that just makes you so adorable, that just makes you the most popular around here?

Just exactly what makes you so special?

I'm no less beautiful than you are.

I'm no less smarter than you are. I excel in all subjects, I can conduct housework well, and I am kind to everyone.

I treat everyone nicely, and yet you bash some of them, speaking with a harsh voice that would snap them out of a funk?

Is that why?

Because you know how to nag, how to scold, and how to use smiles at the right places?

Is that why?

Sometimes, I wish you never came.

I can't stand in that dazzling sunlight that you cast, and I refuse to be your shadow like everyone else. It hurts too much, and the glare, it just blinds my eyes. Sometimes, I wish you never existed so I can have a chance to amaze everyone, so that I can stand in the spot that you are standing right this moment, speaking to a group of animated girls (and guys) excitedly hanging onto every word.

If only I can, I wish to scratch your eyeballs out, to tear you from piece to piece, simply because I want to taste revenge. I want to taste that sweet victory, to taste your defeat by me, and I just want to win you for once.

Because it's not fair.

It's not fair that I am born every bit tragically as you are, yet I am the one who is only basking in the so call warmth of your limelight, and you are the superstar in everyone's eyes.

And it is simply not fair that I can never have an equal chance like you, because it's almost as if everyone just predetermined likes you better.

For now, I can only grit my teeth, and answer to your sweet cry. (_Something that I hate to do_)

"Are you coming, Orihime?"

"Yes Rukia!"

I can only be that obedient little puppet now, because I refuse to be push out even from my insignificant spot. And how else can I take my revenge, if I'm not beside you, slowly waiting for your natural downfall.

Things have eventually end, don't they? Fame and brilliance will have to run its course, and when you fall from grace, I will be there to pick up the pieces.

And someday, I vow, I will be just like you. I will take your position and eclipse even your Kuchiki brilliance, and you will be standing in my shoes.

For now, I only smile.

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_A/N: Here's the second one! This is kind of autobiographical (that's correct, right?), and inspired by partly the song "When it was me". This speaks of the sorrow of being in second place, and sometimes, poor Orihime just needed a break. This is how I feel anyways...please don't bash me. I still love Rukia! _

_This I actually got inspiration from not only my own experiences of being in second place (isn't there always a time where you'd wish you were the shining instead of being overshadowed by someone else?), but from the song "When It Was Me" by Paula Deanda. I know its not exactly the hippest song, but it just fits really well. You can either take this as simply jealousy amongst friends, or you can take it that Rukia is Orihime's romanitc rival. I personally wasn't thinking of the two fighting over Ichigo (or any other guy), but it might work as well. _

_And again, I do not mean to bash either Rukia or Orihime. I am not also trying to say that Orihime is a bitch that must always launch a propaganda against Rukia. I am only trying to express the bitterness and allowing people to understand that when a person is standing behind the spotlight, well, there's that person behind there as well. And my views personally on Orihime and Rukia? Well...I'll leave that to another day. _

_Until next time~! _


End file.
